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Manchester United: What The Hell Do We Do Now

Started on 24 April 2014 by No1VillaFan
Latest Reply on 30 July 2014 by TVDLC123
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ImDonkey Thanks I will try to keep it interesting

Manchester United Vs Chelsea Pre Match Press Conference

(As the press took there seats for the first of two very, very important press conferences, Jose Mourinho was running late as per usual but finally turned up to take his seat for the press conference)


Jose Mourinho

Thanks for coming today Jose, we would like to to start by saying, we do not mind the lateness. How do you rate your chances for the upcoming match against Manchester United and you apparent ongoing feud with Brendan Rodgers?

Manchester United, errr have surprised me this season because, errr I expected them to be not as high as they are this season. They are just an average side doing very well, we need to watch them but I have the better team.

Do you not think your underestimating them a bit? There are players who have been in awesome form this season for them.

I disagree, to be honest. Naismith is not a good player, he is a lazy player who gets into the position for rebounds. There wingers are not top of the league class either, errr Sandro is a cheat and there defence is too young. They are not a team who will cause us problems.

How will you negate the effect of United attacking threat
(Jose Interrupts)
What threat? I just told you they are no threat and we will comfortably win. I have heard Brendan say that we are old but you can not put a price on experience and we will win 3 or 4-0 and embarrass them just like Manchester City did. Now I have important things to do now so I am leaving.
(Jose then stood up and left)


Sorry Chelsea Soundly Beaten

In a match where Tom Cleverley hit the bar no less than three time you would understand if United had lost and said, it was 'not our day.' That did not happen though and the match will be one that both Michael Carrick and Juan Mata will want to forget as Manchester United looked inspired from what Jose Mourinho said and absolutely thrashed the London club.

Winger Kevin Mirallas got Manchester United off to a flying start by scoring a placed shot on 5 minutes. Enthusiastic centre-back Matthias Ginter then doubled the lead with a United trademark set-piece headed goal on the 38th minute.

Chelsea could not get a foothold into the game as Manchester United passed through Chelsea time and time again. Keven Mirallas completed the rout on the 51st minute with a good header from just inside the six-yard box. John Terry then got himself sent off for persistant fouling in the 89th minute and Mourinho blamed the ref.

He was ridiculously biased and I will be making a complaint against him and asking for the match to be replayed.

Kevin Mirallas was by far the best player on the pitch this afternoon too. The former Everton left winger put in a superb performance for his side and will be delighted to cap his performance with two brilliantly worked team goals. The left winger's work rate was exemplary as he covered every blade of grass on the pitch.

Mirallas has 32 appearances so far in all competitions this season and has scored an awesome 16 goals for the club.

That ends the month for Manchester United too and they are now in a very interesting position. They are still in second in the league but have a game in hand over Chelsea and there are only 5 goals in it for goal difference too. I hope Manchester United do not regret the fact they lost 7-1 to Manchester City.
Looking strong at the top there! I have a feeling that your win v Chelsea may well be decisive!
TAT Yeah It is looking good for us now, can we go one better?
I'll never be happy seeing Man U beating Chelsea, but because you did it, I'm a little less mad ;P
TVDLC Thanks man that means a lot :)
brill story

Two Young Starlets Signed For United

20 year old Ward-Prowse is now a United Man

Brendan Rodgers today announced that the club have signed two players on transfer deadline day.

The first guy is James Ward-Prowse, who signs on deadline day from relegated Southampton for an initial £14m with the fee possibly rising to £22m based on appearances, goals and international appearances. Ward-Prowse was one of the very few players at Southampton to come out with any credit at all in the season where they were hopeless under Pochettino and Clarke. Manager Brendan Rodgers was excited to have landed the hot prospect from Southampton, He is a very committed and confident lad said Rodgers. He works hard and has the work rate and ethic to be a success in my Manchester United revolution and I really think that he is going to be a big, big hit here at United.

The youngster, who signed for and initial £14m was sitting next to his new manager with the other signing next to him, a 15 year old wonderkid and had this to say. Manchester United are a massive club who have a vision under Brendan Rodgers and I want to be part of that long term vision. I am very happy to be at Manchester United.

Lambert, Ovaldo, Lallana and Wanyama are now elsewhere too

This signing will be seen as a bargain for United, who had got around £6m off the initial fee because Southampton got relegated, Ward-Prowse joins players like Lambert (to Leeds for £550k), Osvaldo (£16m to Juventus), Lallana (£6m to Verona) and Wanyama (£3.6m to Stoke) out of the door at St. Mary's Stadium, Southampton will only struggle like they have done this season in the Championship.

The second guy in is a 15 year old German signed for £2.5m from Frankfurt.

The Youngster, rated one of the top prospects in the world at the moment will play in United's under-18's squad until he is 16 and then look to be loaned out. Manager Brendan Rodgers obviously rates the German and M'Vogo was looking forward to developing at United. This is a fantastic move for me. The squad is a great squad and the standard of youth coaching here is amazing. I can not speak a lot of English but I am happy to be here.

This will be all of the deals for United in today but there are a couple of players who could leave. More on that if it materialises.
great signings mate!
Great signings, I'm sure Ward-Prowse will do great for you :)
AAN & Tanay Thanks, I hope they both turn into class players for us
Lallana to Verona xDDDDDD
Arvind hahahaha yeah


Liverpool Hold Chelsea to Hand Initiative To United

On an evening that Manchester United had a very important F.A Cup replay with Leeds, that they won 3-1. Chelsea were playing Liverpool knowing that a draw or a defeat handed Manchester United a golden chance to overhaul them.

Courtois was fantastic against Liverpool for Chelsea

It did not start well for Chelsea when on the 8th minute a horrible backpass from David Luiz allowed Luis Suarez to round the keeper and make it 1-0 to Liverpool. Liverpool peppered the Chelsea goal all half but Courtois, now the first choice keeper made some outstanding saves including a point blank save from Otamendi which was just outstanding.

Eto'o celebrating the equiliser

In the second half It was the same with Suarez, Bender and Flanagon going close. Bender hit the bar from a fantastic free kick and Flanagon hit over when it was easier to score. Mourinho was shouting and with Eto'o, Terry and Bartrand all thrown on it was a all out attack and on the 71st minute it worked as good work from ex United man Juan Mata created a chance for Bartrand to cross and Eto'o with a free header does not miss from there. It was Chelsea's only real chance and they took it but could not score again and the game finished 1-1 leaving Chelsea 4 points clear of Manchester United and United have two games in hand.

The League has got interesting

Mourinho though would not talk about it. Are you going to talk about the game or if I am worried about United? We did not play United so I am not going to talk about them. We were unlucky today but we are still top and that is how it will stay. We will say we are top when we are top, OK thanks bye.

Mourinho is definitely rattled and that can only be to United's gain.

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