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Killymoon Rangers: To Infinity And Beyond

Michael's Diary contains entertaining entries, funny and different from the average FM story, with a bold pinch of lampoon and perversion. Some of the entries are considered PG-18, so please be warned!
Started on 27 November 2012 by Michael
Latest Reply on 6 July 2014 by Justice
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Diary Entry 16


April 10th, 2013

Dear Diary,

A few weeks ago we saw a strange animal. First we thought it was that grey Gorilla again, but this one walked on 4 legs. Than we were thinking of an old grey wolf, but this thing didn't had a tail, and actually didn't bite. It turned out it was a genetically modified grey donkey without a tail, but it was so mentally retarded that it was searching for one. The mayor's daughters saw their chance, adopted him and called him ironically manchesterblue, which was the the color of the underwear they were wearing and the city they bought their latest breast-implants.

So I promised each player they could use him for their bags and personal purposes. at least: when they scored or held the 0 in case of the goalie. The others needed to help themselves with Andrew. Only Adam was motivated, and a 1-2 loss was the result against Ballymoney Utd. The donkey had a few more carrots to suck on the match after, Besic scored 3 times, and as a generous man he is, he offered manchesterblue to the whole team.

After this the whole team was trying to get a few more nice results, and while manchesterblue was ridden by Heskey, Terry, Vladimir, and the Mayors sisters in the opponents dressing room, we were busy winning. The 2 matches against Larne gave us 7 goals (4-0 and 3-0) and manchesterblue 7 extra meals.

Around a week ago we had a sour loss after penalty's in the final of the Mid Ulster Cup, Laughall beated us, and so we beated Andrew, for not sucking the donkey enough times a week (hey, even the donkey needs to give his milk). After that loss, the donkey was put in the basement, for shooting some promotion material for the new site of Nick: The second Ass! It had already 35000 views when Nick called me this morning. After checking the IP's there was 1 which had a lot of hits. Backtracing it, it seemed it came from the mayor's office. I think the "Daughters" likes the site.

Anyways, we had the last match yesterday. In the All-ireland cup I promised the guys that if they won, they could all try to be manchestersblue's new tail. So after the 2-0 win in the match, I needed to buy a lot of cigarette's, because they smoke all a cigeratte after "it". Costed me a few bucks, but i think it is worth for manchesterblue, who finally gets all his belly filled. Andrew couldn't take the day off, he needed to clean all the coacks, but he was eager to work for his share.

Bye diary, see you soon. The katholic girl I met yesterday wants some attention, looking at the gagball, whips and kitty-uniform she brought with her.


hahahahah a mentally retarded donkey called manchesterblue :D

no idea how u keep coming up with this stuff but its awesome :D
blue is gonna get mad lol
(congrats on promotion! 12->13)
*Tries his best to keep forums organised, boss ruins the perfectness*
I hate you :P

Diary Entry 17


June 25th, 2013.

Dear Diary,

Horrible. Just Horrible. The best way to describe the scene in 3 words. Just the image on itself: Mark bound on an X-tabel, while he was tasered in his nipple's and balls. Also the cries when they whipped him. Terry, Heskey and Vladimir had no mercy with him, and together with the fact that the mayors "daughters" were dripping candlewax on his exposed privates. And than every match, he was popped with his widely stretched anus on the towbar, and with the gagball in his mouth, and his hands tied on his back, he needed to put his feet high up. Occasionally a bird would shit on high head, and he would have a nice warm bath.

With first an away match against St. Pat's Athletic which we won 4-3, and while mark was busy trying to find his own dick with a Microscope, Heskey and Vladimir were busy planning their next move, which eventually let to a double rear-ender. They were only loosening him up for the ride back.

We played a 1-1 draw, against Loughgall, which were led the guys back to the task they were supposed to do: Making sure Rookie could shoot his Gay Gone Wild video's for his online site. In the last match of the Intermediate Cup we hammered Linfield Swifts (3-1) just like we hammered Mark's nuts.

After the 2 regular matches (where Mark was raped by the cast of the Expendables) against Cloeraine (4-1) and Ards (3-1) we had THE match of the history of the club. Playing in the Final of the All Ireland cup. Craig had his chesthair combed, Andrew his nosehear, and TheChosenOne washed his 3 pubes. Rookie set up a special rape-a-thon, with in the centre Mark, which led him to have more loads than STD's. Atreidas finally took a bath, whispers finally let go of his constipation, and Akash finally repaired his goat.

We started with an own goal. Perdichizzi was so distracted by the fact that ejay was blowing the Daughters, that he conceded an own goal. Jamil Adam luckely pulled 6 minutes later levelled. Maybe because I offered Mark to him. It went on to Half-time (1-1) and Full Time (1-1). After Kicking Glen Wiseman of the field, and a red card for the opponent O'Connor, I ordered Adam to one time forward. And in the 122th minute Adam scored the 2-1. Everything went wild. Mark shat himself with some white-brownish goo, a few goat's blew up, The Mayors daughters went poledancing naked, and Rookie finally stopped sucking our goalie.

We had 3 prizes in total: The Intermediate Cup, The All-Ireland Cup and the league. So we are finally at the highest level. I'm so happy Diary.

I need to go now, Mark needs his clyster. Speak to you in the new season.
A rape-a-thon? :P More like a Rapelympics :D
lololo raped by the cast of the expendables haha, f*ck that :O
2012-12-17 20:41#72772 MarkKolatowicz12 : lololo raped by the cast of the expendables haha, f*ck that :O
Just go along with it. It hurts more if you struggle! ;)
Nice one mate, I played for Killymoon when they were in the lower leagues, will defo be following.

Flashbacks in Time


We go back. Back to that faithful day. It was predicted that the world would end on the 21st of december, in that faithful in 2012. Only: every thought it would have been the sky or the earth, but no-one expected that it would be someone living on the earth, en breathing from the sky.

Let's go back 50 more hours. 18 december 2012, around 11 PM, GMT+1. In a town in the Northern of Holland called Assen, there is someone truly a game fanatic. While playing Football Manager Handheld 2013 on his mobile, he Plays FM2012 on his PC, and has 5 open games in his browser. Than, the trouble starts: A knock on the window, and an old friend appears. Especially for his birthday he comes to his house, and after some FIFA on his Xbox, and some Black Ops 2, they both go to sleep. sober.

19 december 2012 will be known as the beginning of the end. What started as an ordinairy 21st birthday, with a small party, would result in a cataclysmic even, spread over more than 100 hours.
The normal person would have a small party, maybe doing some DJing. But not me.

I make it a partyweek: Today, on my birthday, there will be a small party, just for friends/family. Tomorrow I will kick the crap out of my teacher when he asks me why I come drunk in his class, and in the evening i go to Jack Reacher in the ciname theatre. Than on Friday, I will be drunk, and drunk, and probably drunk to Tuesday, even when the drinking stops at sundaynight.

So guys: the upcoming week will be a fun one :)
Happy birthday man
"the upcoming week will be a fun one" - I'm sure they will :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!!

p.s. I read the Jack Reacher book series and there is a lot of blood! :P

Dairy Entry 18


Sept 15th, 2013

Dear Diary,

We had a rough pre-season. Just Rough. Jason_connoly was here, and it went rough. As a former player of ths club he knows the drill. But the current players didn't know it. So instead of rape, it went to the biggest BDSM candlewax rimjob orgy in the world. Jason, now fully gay, had the time of his life, and even his latex-allergy didn't stopped him to put Andrews buttplug in his own ass. His ass grew some 20cm due to the allergic reaction, but that turned him (and Vlad, Heskey and Terry) even more on.

Yeah, and the whole preseason we scored 18 times in 5 matches, around the same number the mayors daughters came on Jason's face. we faced 8 goals, that was also the lenght in millimeters of Jasons Dick. Carrick, Birmingham, Warrenpoint, H&W Welders and Ards were the 5 teams, and 3 wins, 1 loss and 1 draw were the results.

In the league we had also directly a very good start: Dungannon offered us the 2-1 win, as in trade for using Jason for a week. Jason was reluctant, until the Rohypnol began to work, and Jason went back doing where he came for. Ballymena United was with 5-2 a bit easy. so we needed to compensate, and so went on raping Jason with the cast of Little Britain. Their names was the only thing that was little, as you can see in the video's which are made.

Glentoran was even easier, which caused Jason to pass out. After examining him, it wasn't the 4-1 win, but just the smell of andrew's socks, so he needed to switch to a new pair. The worst thing was the week after: a 6-1 win, the striker could find all of his goals, and Jason was one too. Poor Jason. He was fucked by a goalie which had ADHD, was high on speed, and had just drank a tray of monster energy. Not to mention that we found an empty strip of Viagra, and I understand why we found Jason 120 hours later, totally worn out, in the basement of the local sexstore.

Cliftonville was relatively easy with a 5-1. We gave Jason a bit of a rest, and instead feeding him directly to his throat, we came on andrews cup A tits, and scooped it off with a spoon, to feed it to Jason. Yesterday we had a very very hard match. Luckely I trained on the drunken soccer techniques, because we went to Destillery, and we sure went drunk there. A 3-2 win, a hangover, and some sexual assault charges later we finally went back home.

So Diary. Here I am. Hangover like hell, and boy, what was it worth it. Oh, Need to go quickly, Vlad is saying that Jason refuses to put his anal-balls in.
Anal-balls? :P

Me thinks a little bit of Rookie should be back in this ;)

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