Vauxhall Motors - The Path To Power

Go to Rangers! Or rather stay at Vauxhall!

First of all great month and KIU! Also NEVER leave Vauxhall!!

So close to the Prem, would be a shame to leave now.

The Decision

Bono: "There's been a lot of talk about my future and where I will be managing. It is true that I received a very lucrative contract offer from Celtic last week. I have had time to think about it and I have made my decision.

When I was a kid, I was a huge Celtic fan. I loved the club and everything about it. So when they phoned with what was an absolutely huge contract offer, how could I decline? Being manager of Celtic means being on a bigger wage, in a bigger city, a bigger club, and being at my dream club. Who would turn down something like that?

But being a singer in U2 and touring world wide has made me realise something; money and fame doesn't make you happy. What makes you happy is being at home. Ever since I stepped in the door of Vauxhall's office back on the 14th of July in 2012, I felt at home. Over seven years later, I still sit on the same chair at the same desk in the same office. Why change something which you love so much? Vauxhall is my home, it is where I belong. I am happy here, why trade that for money which I already have from my music days? I would like to thank the board of Celtic for giving me this fantastic opportunity, but I will stay at Vauxhall forever, because it is where I belong. This is my home, this is my family, and I love Vauxhall Motors!"

Love it, fantastic update. Glad you decided to stay. Now...

Vauxhall Motors to the Champions League!

#Vauxhall4CL

YAY! BONO AND VAUXHALL 4EVAR!

I knew it.

STAYING AT VAUXHALL! YEAH! Now I can read all that I missed in about two week

Thanks for the supports guys, I'm going to keep pushing on

Season Eight: January Update

After all the drama concerning the future of manager Paul Hewson cleared up, Vauxhall Motors were looking to claim a firm hold on the Championship title by defeating all their opponents this month.

Results

We started off the month with the dreaded FA Cup tie away to Norwich, but we came out victorious after a last minute winner from Keith Buckley put Norwich to the sword. We then struggled to draws away to Middlesbrough and Huddersfield, before returning to winning ways with a huge 3-0 win away to Wolves. We then finished the month with a 2-0 spanking of Port Vale in the FA Cup, which saw us go to the 5th round (last 16). I'm disappointed with our league form, but I'm very proud of our cup run so far.

Player of the Month

Euan Smith is my Player of the Month for a third month running, believe it or not. He has been in incredible form and scored another five goals this month. Where would Vauxhall Motors be without Euan Smith? Nowhere near where we are now! He is our marquee player and we need to keep him to succeed.

NPower Championship

Our poor league form has seen us drop to second, and three points behind Everton. We will be looking to catch that up as soon as possible so that we can challenge for the league title. Promotion is looking more and more likely, so now we can push for the league title. If we can win it, it will be a very proud day for us.

New Signing

Tony Garbutt was signed from Manchester United for £200,000 to become our most expensive signing ever. The twenty-two year old midfielder will fit in to our first team very well and he has some very good all-round stats. His high stamina, work rate and determination makes him an ideal candidate to play as a box-to-box midfielder, but he may sit in defensive midfield for now. He has a bright future ahead of him and he could become a star for Vauxhall and for England if he reaches his potential.
Fee: £200,000
Star Signing

February Fixtures

We have five very difficult fixtures next month. Our biggest game will be the FA Cup tie against Fulham. If we can beat them, we are through to the quarter finals of the world's most prized club cup competition. Hopefully we can do very well next month.

The signing looks good! I bet that next season you will be given a huge budget, but you'll invest into younger players or even better facilities. Keep it up Justice! Vauxhall will be title contenders next season! Good luck in the final matches

2013-06-12 22:49#111826 PaukerJ : The signing looks good! I bet that next season you will be given a huge budget, but you'll invest into younger players or even better facilities. Keep it up Justice! Vauxhall will be title contenders next season! Good luck in the final matches

Cheers Pauker, hopefully I can earn promotion and then a title challenge in the BPL will be difficult

The Bono Diaries: Part One

6th February 2020

Dear Diary,

This is the first time I've ever written a diary entry but at the age of fifty-nine, I feel that the time is right. A lot has happened to me in the fifty-nine years I have been alive, but so much has happened to me in the last seven and a half years. Ever since I signed that first contract with Vauxhall, I have felt at home. This diary will be an account of some of the weird things that I have experienced.

I suppose there is no point thinking back to 2012 as I have forgotten most of the stuff that happened then in my old age. So what has happened recently? I met up with the boys from U2 and we went to a gig by The Script in Wembley. That was a good day. It is great to meet up with them every now and then. Its like a family re-union for us, it really is fantastic.

I had lunch with Sir Alex Ferguson the other day. He's really turned in to a wily old geezer since retiring in 2014! He's seventy-eight years old now but he still likes to think he's twenty-eight years old! Honestly though, it is great to see him so up-beat. It is often the case that people like him just become glum and just fade away from the world. He has some interesting stories involving himself, Rio Ferdinand, Ryan Giggs, and a trip to Las Vegas, but that's a story for another day.

I suppose I'm a little nervous writing a diary entry for the first time so I'll have to end this story here! Perhaps I will have more to talk about next time but until then, goodbye!

---

NOTE: This is simply a spin-off story of Bono and has crazy adventures during his tenure as Vauxhall manager. Trust me, they will be more comedical than this one was. This was simply a start-off to what may be a hilarious spin-off!

Lol. Connect the dots. Giggs, Ferdinand, Vegas and Sir Alex Ferguson. THE SECOND WOLF PACK